The 'Somewhat Daily' Diary - Stalker Situation

After reading of a recent news about Madonna being 'distressed' by her Stalker, Aneeta, my co-host on City FM89 and I decided to do a show on the topic just to create awareness regarding this problem. Here are the basics everyone should know:

BY DEFINITION

Stalking is defined as a constellation of behaviours in which an individual inflicts upon another repeated unwanted intrusions and communications (Mullen, 1999).

Intrusions include making approaches, maintaining surveillance and gathering information.

Communication can be by telephone, letters, cards, faxes, internet, graffiti, gifts, or ordering goods and services on the victim's behalf.

BY PROFILE

Nearly 90% of stalkers are male. Most stalkers know their victims (75% of whom are female); 60% are current or former intimate partners. Male victims tend to be stalked by strangers and acquaintances rather than intimates. Most stalkers are late teens to middle-aged. Most have above-average intelligence. They come from every socio-economic background. Many stalkers are anti-social, manipulative, deceptive, obsessive-compulsive, and have a history of failed relationships

BY TYPE

Rejected stalkers pursue their victims in order to reverse, correct, or avenge a rejection (e.g. divorce, separation, termination).

Resentful stalkers pursue a vendetta because of a sense of grievance against the victims – motivated mainly by the desire to frighten and distress the victim.

Intimacy seekers seek to establish an intimate, loving relationship with their victim. To many of them the victim is a long-sought-after soul mate, and they were 'meant' to be together.

Incompetent suitors, despite poor social or courting skills, have a fixation, or in some cases, a sense of entitlement to an intimate relationship with those who have attracted their amorous interest. Their victims are most often already in a dating relationship with someone else.

Predatory stalkers spy on the victim in order to prepare and plan an attack – often sexual – on the victim.

Unprovoked/Malicious/Obsessive Stalking is often carried out for no reason other than to cause harm to the victim.

Vengeance/Terrorist stalker. Both the vengeance stalker and terrorist stalker (the latter sometimes called the political stalker) do not, in contrast with some of the aforementioned types of stalkers, seek a personal relationship with their victims but rather force them to emit a certain response favourable to the stalker. While the vengeance stalker's motive is "to get even" with the other person whom he/she perceives has done some wrong to them

BY ASSOCIATION

Not all stalkers are strangers…

Intimate or Former Intimate Stalking: The stalker and victim may be married or divorced, current or former cohabitants, serious or casual sexual partners, or former sexual partners. A history of intimate partner violence may exist.

Acquaintance Stalking: The stalker and victim may know each other casually, either through formal or informal contact. For example, they may be co-workers or neighbors, or they may have dated once or twice but were not sexual partners.

Stranger Stalking: The stalker and victim do not know each other at all. Cases involving celebrities and other public figures generally fall into this category.

WHAT TO DO

1. Take action
Whilst all agencies agree that victims should never react to or communicate with the stalker, ignoring the harassment will not necessarily cause the stalker to stop.

The sooner action is taken, be it police caution or warning, solicitors letter or arrest, the more chance it has of stopping. Research has shown that those stalkers who are allowed to carry on are less likely to stop easily.

2. Contact the police
Contact the local police as soon as possible.

Ask for the name of the officer in charge of the case and record the crime reference number if applicable.

3. Do not respond
On no account should you agree to meet with your stalker or communicate with them in any way.

It might put you in a dangerous situation and may weaken any prosecution case against your stalker simply because you have co-operated with them.

4. Inform
Make friends, neighbours and colleagues aware of what is happening. They can also keep a record of sightings and suspicious incidents for you, as well as supporting and protecting you.

5. Improve personal safety
Carry a mobile phone with you as well as a personal attack alarm - it will help you feel more comfortable when you go out.

Rely on your instinct. If you ever feel in imminent danger do not hesitate to call 999.

Consider improvements to your home security.

6. Record
Record any incident you feel is suspicious including:

• Telephone calls Do not enter into conversation with your stalker. Remain calm and try not to show any emotion. Put the handset to one side then leave for a few minutes then return and replace the handset. Record the date and time of the call as well as the details even if they were unanswered or silent calls. Try dialling 1471 for the caller's number. Write down and save any text messages and the time they were received.
• Sightings Record the date, time, location, a description of clothing they are wearing and anything they may be carrying and what they are doing.
• Cars If you are aware of a particular car, record the date, time, location, make and model of car, colour, registration number and any other distinguishing features.
• Mail If you are wary of any mail that is delivered to you either give it straight to the police without opening it, or put gloves on so you do not put your fingerprints on it.
• Computers Save information received onto disk and print out a hard copy of relevant data. Do not delete the original. Only open emails if you know the originator and ensure your computer is secure and virus protected.
• Camera Record on film anything you can as this will be very useful evidence of what is happening, location and frequency of the incidents.
• Diary of events Keep a diary of what happens, how you are feeling. This will not only help you, but assist the police in their investigation.