single 30

30 AND SINGLE….WHY?

“What! She is 29 and still single?” This question has been following me around more often than not, especially at family gatherings. 30 and single

“Is everything okay beta?” “Kissi mein interested ho?” no matter wherever I go, I am haunted  by such and much worse questions, statements, remarks regarding my age and the fact that I am not even engaged.

Yes, I am 29 soon to be 30. Most of my friends are married already with kids including some younger cousins too, to add to the pressure.

On the other hand, my mom in her tireless efforts has left no stone unturned by inviting almost the entire city to get me hooked with someone of her choice. Whenever I hang out with my friends, someone or the other in the crowd seems familiar to me. I simply turn my face fearing they must have visited us for the rishta meeting.

Has anyone ever asked good-looking, intelligent, smart men why they’re still single and not ready to commit? But if you’re a woman with all the  attributes people wonder what’s wrong with you. I find this question so irritable now that I don’t even feel the need to answer, but smile at it. As Bernard Baruch once said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

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Decide For Yourself:

You should know clearly when you want to get married and why? Don’t get yourself and the other person in trouble by just giving in to the pressures of society. Decide for yourself when you are ready for the commitment. Being married is a responsibility of its kind, and it takes maturity, compromise and selflessness on many levels in order to build a successful relationship. If you still in the process of figuring out what works best in a relationship, then take your time and learn what makes you happy first before you dive blindly into one.

 Patience bears the Sweetest of the Fruits!

The best is yet to arrive. You might have not come across someone yet who is the best fit for you. He might not be head over heels for you but someone who is compatible and connects with you. Is that too hard to comprehend? But until you find the guy, you’re single by choice and no woman at any age should have to explain herself to others.

Hard to please:

We have spent our life getting an education, building a career and we want to settle. I know what I am bringing to the table and why should I accept any less from a man!  If he doesn’t have a certain degree from a certain university, his own home, a certain car or perhaps a career, then he is free to move on to somebody else. I might sound superficial, could be missing out on great guys and blocking my blessing, but that’s for me to figure out. And there’s nothing wrong with having standards either. Or is there?

single

Enjoy your Independence:

Isn’t that the greatest feeling in the world? You can do whatever you want! Hanging out with your friends without asking for somebody’s permission (except your parents and I am sure they have no qualms about it). Going to bed and waking up whenever you want. You can go for a vacation with your friends for let’s say two weekends in a row and have the time of your life.  Eat, Pray, sleep and watch your favorite seasons over and over. It’s a beautiful thing. As all your married friends and cousins would quote, “Jitne mazay hai who maa baap k ghar main he hai”.  So enjoy your time till the tingle!

No Sharing:

Being the only daughter, I love my personal space and every other space in my room. Be it my bathroom, my wardrobe, my drawers, my shelves and everything else. I am selfish in this respect and one should be. All the girls being the only female sibling would relate to this. Because once you get married you will to have to share you favorite dessert, your fries, cutting back on all those fun activities with your friends and will live your entire life with someone else in mind. Are you sure you are ready to do it?

7 comments

  1. Fiaz Tariq

    “Has anyone ever asked good-looking, intelligent, smart men why they’re still single and not ready to commit? ”

    Yes

  2. Maida

    Good article…love the single perspective. But honestly marriage does not have to be the death knell, party’s-over kind of life as described by the author. Many of us continue to meet our friends, vacation with them and binge watch our favorite shows without requiring spousal ‘permission’ :)

  3. Annum khan

    Good to know that finally girls have started to realize that getting married is not the ultimate goal to be achieved . Well I guess its better to stay single rather getting into a fake relationship where couples mask their feelings merely for the society .

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