How am I supposed to handle a useless husband?
Well, that’s how women are perceived as because we are rehab centers to bring men on the right track. And as unfortunate as it sounds, even in 2022 we’re dealing with such men and figuring out ways to make men less selfish, lazy and not motivated enough in life. So the marriage you always dreamed of, feels more of a nightmare because you get to handle a useless husband and in return get to feel exhausted and frustrated.
But all hope isn’t lost, because there are ways you can work your way and make a useless husband more useful – you just have to play smart and not pity your situation.
BE VERSATILE AND OPEN
Women often count on men to do things once they’ve asked them, but that’s now how men operate. Even if they do it, most of the times it’s like a short cut or a quick way to check the box – as long as it stays in their personal capacity. He won’t step out of his comfort zone and do it the way you want him to.
So here’s the thing – it’s ok if he doesn’t do according to your way, the fact of the matter is that he did it. To avoid the unnecessary and heated argument, be versatile and open to the idea of sliding things and letting him do it his way. The key is to get him to do it. And once he does it, I’m sure he’ll get better at it even if it was just the dishes.
MAKE HIM YOUR HERO
Most girls don’t understand it and no, we’re not referring to Thor or Iron Man with mighty powers. It’s solely a matter of understanding the suitable things to say to make him notice that he needs to be a higher, ‘useful’ husband for you. So you trigger him with the right choice of words and once triggered, these drivers make males into the heroes of their very own lives. They really feel higher, love more durable, and commit stronger once they discover somebody who is aware of how to set off it.
DON’T FORGET TO THANK HIM
Gratitude goes a long way, even if it’s for the smallest of things and that’s what a mature person does – doesn’t let go of any of the blessings. While it’s nice to thank someone for what they did, but in the case of a useless/lazy husband, positive reinforcement makes the other person feel comfortable and they are ready to open up more since they don’t feel threatened or trapped in a corner.
LOWER YOUR STANDARDS GIRL
Sounds frustrating, I know but just for your sake and the marriage you chose to work on, consider lowering your expectations. You might feel sad and unlucky, thinking what you got into, but with time he’ll hopefully come around and realise the effort you’ve put into this relationship (if he’s that kind).
SEE A THERAPIST
This one’s for you and only you so you can put things in perspective for yourself and figure out the how’s and why’s in the field every time you try to deal with the mister. Being the captain of the ship and take everything upon yourself to manage a grown up human being (apart from yourself) is mentally and physically exhausting. So don’t be afraid to speak to someone about your worries and never strop aiming to find your center through spiritual means.
SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH HIM
You already feel damaged and are doing all the emotional work by yourself, but since you’ve decided to take this journey with him, you might get out of that redundant cycle that you’re in with him and go have some fun. Take a trip, go out for dinner and just spend some quality time with him so you feel less damaged. It would be nice to know and remember all the reasons why you love him and chose to be in a “in sickness and in health” kind of a relationship.