Compromise in a relationship? We’ve all had to do that; our mothers did it, we do it and majority of Pakistani women who lack exposure and live in trodden situations continue to compromise and sacrifice their ideas, dreams and hopes for their relationship to work. While it’s never ever okay to be the only one to compromise in a relationship on things that hamper your growth as a person, but you have to realise that it takes a delicate blend of “give and take” to help a relation flourish. For ages women have to had to give up or alter their lives, but what does that lead to in the end when you compromise in a relationship?
Well, the truth is far from beautiful or a fairy tale. And I’m glad that a lot of Pakistani women have grown smarter and stronger in terms of what works for them when it comes to their relationships, however here are 6 things women compromise on that we can take as learning lessons to lead a better life.
GIVING UP ON THEIR CAREERS AND GOALS
Many corporate queens tend to scale down their careers to adjust to family needs and compromise in a relationship. The same goes for girls who have dreams of specialization in certain fields. They cannot spare enough time and resources to build their career after committing to a long-term relationship so they give up on their ideas in order to make their partner or family happy so things can work out. And especially when it comes time to grow their family. The general understanding is that you give up.
ADJUST ACCORDING TO THEIR NEW FAMILY
This is the biggest of all ordeals. Living and adjusting with an extended family needs a tough bird. Not only does the workload and expectations mount but also so do the stress in everyday life. There are certain positives to it too especially when there are caring people around you. But many women cope amidst this to maintain their connection.
PLEASE THEIR PARTNER BY CHANGING THEMSELVES
Whether it’s their attitude, habits or the kind of clothes they wear, women tend to change their way of doing things for the other person or their family. What if they don’t like the way you dress? Or they don’t like the way you laugh out loud? If you’re smart, you’d get the hint and since women are emotionally equipped to pick up cues, they accept these changes for the other persons sake.
DOWNGRADE THEIR SELF-WORTH
Unfortunately women are conditioned to grow and nurture a garden of love and serenity in spite of being ill treated in their relationship. They are not appreciated for who they are and looked down upon, giving birth to doubts about what they deserve. Self-love and self-care are not just buzz words but the fundamentals of our lives that define the course of any relationship. If you aren’t happy with yourself, how will you head on in life?
TOLERATE EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL ABUSE
Abuse is not just physical, it comes in all forms. Whilst physically the scars heal, but mental and emotional trauma can take years and in that course it can change how you perceive things and process feelings, altering the equation of your relationship. You deserve respect but women have tolerated pain, suffering and gas lighting in order for their relationship to sustain.
“ME TIME” AND SOCIALIZING IN A NEW TIMELINE
When you’re coupled, you won’t get a lot of “me time” if you’re working or studying together or married. But majorly women who have had to live with their in-laws, well they had schedule time that they either wanted to spend with themselves or their friends. Whatever you used to do, so many women have had to adjust according to a new timeline.
This post is not meant drive you South, but we’re trying to show you the realistic side of life and the things our mothers have done and women who have zero exposure continue to do, compromise and sacrifice in their relationships. However, women are smarter nowadays and they know what want out of their relationships as well as their partner. All relationships necessitate adjustments and there invariably are means to do these in a manner that is more salutary for both the partners. And as long as it nurtures the soul of your bond it is never a big deal.
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