Inspired by Who What Wear’s recent post on 3 fashion mistakes all women make, we set out to design our own little desi list in hope to inspire some creativity and originality in the herds of gorgeous women we see every day.
MONOGRAM ONSLAUGHT IS CHEAP AND TACKY.
Yes! We have said it before and we will say it again, the only thing you can achieve by wearing too many monogrammed articles is look like you’re trying too hard. Google some of the most prominent style stars globally and you’ll hardly ever catch them wearing monogrammed bags. Yes you have a Gucci bag, we’re happy for you… the only thing it tells us is you can buy fashion, you don’t necessarily have style.
IF GOD DIDN’T MAKE YOU BLONDE, HE HAD GOOD REASON.
Yessir, God works in mysterious ways and while a lot of times we can’t understand them, it’s not really up to us to change our destiny not when it comes to being blonde anyway. We are all for experimenting with hair colour, expressing yourself through your hair BUT really, all your beautifully fake blonde hair is telling us is… there is reason why blonde jokes exist.
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BLUSH AND SUN BURN.
Ok so we appreciate that you own a blush on but really it is what it says it is BLUSH… In no way does it mean ‘Blush – but we’re kidding, it’s actually called someone slapped me across the face pink so why don’t you dab your cheek in the compact and come out looking sun burnt’. Yes, darlings you may be white, your hair may be blonde but the only reason those cheeks could be that pink is if someone decided to be intolerant to the shameless abuse of blush on.
SKIN. TO SHOW OR NOT.
We don’t necessarily show skin here as they do elsewhere in the world, and please let it be known once and for all that we celebrate all body types and shapes BUT it is critical to dress for your body and while having flabby arms, love handles, muffin tops are natural and beautiful in their own way we could take serious offence if you start wearing sleevelesses, cholis and God knows what else. Style is in dressing for your body, not being another cow in the herd. Similarly if you’re forever hiding behind layers of clothing, we suspect you just might be getting it wrong again. Too much and too less… both don’t work!
SHIVERING ISN’T IN FASHION.
We are all guilty of making this mistake right? And we forgive each other for it. After all, the weddings all happen in the coldest of seasons and it does cramp our style to wear a sweater on a sexy sari but barring those few occasions we collectively decide are ok, please note that nothing is sexier, classier and more chic than a woman who walks into a room with the right clothes for the right season. We know winters only come for a short while but invest in the right shoes and a coat… the whole socks in shoes that weren’t meant to be worn with socks is just a dagger through out heart me nice to us!
THE ‘UNDER’LYING ISSUE.
There is a good reason they sell undies in all imaginable colours. Yes, you got the right. Black under white, orange under blue, white under black?!? Nope. Doesn’t work. No. It’s not open to discussion. We’ve all had the moments where it shows in flash light or something… please note there is a reason it’s called a fashion faux pas. Moving on… If you’re spending a good part of your life investing in looking good, please note your life will be easier if you buy the right undies!
ACT YOUR AGE WOMAN!
Repeat after us. I. SOLEMNLY. SWEAR. THAT. I. WILL. NOT. WEAR. SPANDAX. OUTSIDE. THE. SWIMMING. POOL. Thank you. Now that we have that out of the way ladies, please try to avoid synthetic fabrics as much as possible. We know it’s impossible to do that if you shop high street like us BUT do try finding pieces that aren’t shamelessly tacky, stretchy or shiny. It all looks very cute when you’re a teenager but the irony of life is it only lasts for a decade. Move on!
YOU MADE EFFORT AND IT SHOWS.
For long we have cringed at people stuck in a different decade and while it’s cool to have a signature style it only works if it looks effortless. If you’re the kind who is ‘trying’ the 80s look or the 90s look or whatever DON’T. If you have to make an effort for it, chances are it will show. And take it from us effortless = cool, trying hard = not cool.
TAKING FASHION TOO SERIOUSLY NOW ARE WE?
Fashion is a way of expressing yourself… so darling, if you’re taking it too seriously you have it all wrong. Stop turning it into a chore, make your life easy and have fun with it. Allah ki Kasam if you don’t follow every trend to the dot you will survive. If you somehow make the mistake of looking different, we’ll love you for it. Just because everyone has decided to wear a fur gilet doesn’t mean you have to also (in fact please put it in a bin and set it on fire if you can). Shock your friends… wear patterns, or textures, or anything you feel like that day.
BOLLYWOOD INSPIRED EXISTENCE.
You know that thing Deepika does with the bling bling clothes in item type numbers?? You know that chumak dhumak, those accessories overload, the hair with glitter? Doesn’t work in real life. Please park the bollywood heroine doing item numbers in your mind to the side. Too much bling is and will always be TOO MUCH!
MMM… SO YOU’RE CHANNELING YOUR INNER ROAD KILL TODAY?
While in our short and sweet existence we have seen some ladies rock animal prints. Let us be very very clear. There is a very thin line between a roaring success and a walking dead road kill specimen. Unless you’re fierce enough to really rock the cheetah print, please take our advice and leave it to the cheetah. For too long women have shamed tigers, zebras, leopards and more… it time someone stood up for their rights.
GETTING EXCITED ABOUT THE ‘FIT’ EH?
Ok so there is a difference between ‘fitting’ and ‘fitted’. ‘Well fitted’ does not mean you should not be able to breathe in the garment. Those darts, that zip waali kameez, the bodycon only work on very limited occasions on very few people. It’s ok if you’re not one of them. God knows we’re not and the world seems to be going on fine, the sun will rise again tomorrow. However, if you’re one of those aunties, who insists on wearing fitted shirts on top of the various tires of your tummy, it ok, we think you’re cute (and beyond repair).