Somebody who’s got a great sense of humour, is affectionate and wise and has that good look charm of Ryna Gosling, is a man that can only be found in Hollywood or your dreams. But jokes aside, besides these obvious traits, what is it that we’re always on the look out for in the man who is going to sweep us off our feet and make us say “qabool hai”? That’s right, your long term partner.

Nowadays, it’s terribly exhausting to find the right partner who will stand by you in the longer run. They say that, the reasons we fall in love may be a mystery, but the reasons we stay in love are far less elusive,  because we never know that the person we’re falling in love with is necessarily the right person. You could be incompatible, but have a great chemistry, can alone just not be the deciding factor for you, which is why you let your heart and your head make the decision for you. When we’re to find Mr. or Ms. Right, let your brain look for the signs that will indicate if ABC or XYZ will make the suitable partner. Sometimes some qualities in a person aren’t very apparent until you start spending time together, so here are a few VALUABLE traits to look for before you make a formal announcement, and rethink later!

EMPATHY

Not a lot of individuals can empathise with their partner, meaning, they are unable to communicate and understand the other persons needs, wants, ideas and perspective because they aren’t very intuitive emotionally and intellectually enough to comprehend what exists between them and their partner. We desire validation from other partner, that they understand where we’re coming from us because at the end of the day, all we want is to be understood, yes?

HOW THEY TREAT THEIR PAST RELATIONSHIPS

How do they treat their friends? Have they kept a few old ones close? Notice how they speak of their past love, do they blame them for the failed relationship? Some of it may or not may not be true, but these subtle cues of might give you some insight about the kind of person they are.

MATURE ENOUGH?

A lot of us are still unable to define what maturity in a person can actually mean because we’re still stuck with the notion that one has to “act” all grown up whereas that is actually not the scenario. When one does not repeat his/her mistakes and does things differently be it a work problem, in a relationship or a general situation, being able to resolve it with grace and calm and an outcome that means best for everyone is being mature. Your partner has to be emotionally mature enough to repeat past mistakes, is able to achieve a certain kind of independence and autonomy and appreciate their better half will be able to ace a rewarding long term partner.

IT ALL BEGINS AND ENDS WITH FAMILY

In our culture, the girl has to move in to a new place and make home with new people, so if you knew your husband before you got together, we’re hoping you learnt a few things about his family and their ties as one. Trust me, it’s the very little things that can hit you, like how does he/she talks about them, is the present or the past tense, are there any signs of agitation or do they avoid talking about them? If you see these signs, something’s not right and since you’ve decided to go on with him, find out what he’s unable to share so you know how to handle everything later.

A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

That’s one great feeling to have, to feel great about themselves other than just the relationship. You want to be with someone who isn’t grim and things that everything in his life is going down hill, having a positive approach and by that we dont mean, that he/she be the happy-go-lucky all the time, but just generally being content and open to the light is a great trait.

NO COMEDY, BUT A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR

The best thing a good sense of humour can do is ease the tension between a couple during a rough situation. Being playful, laughing at their own jokes and simply knowing what makes their partner smile is a great attribute to have. It doesn’t mean that one has to be a comedian, but knowing how to put things in perspective through jokes and taking things lightly is a great stress reliever and a plus in a long term partner.

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