If you are reading this, you know exactly what I am talking about. If you do not know what the title of this post means, you have probably been living under a rock and don’t need a # in your life.

For those who choose to read on, ‘DISS’ CLAIMER (get it? yes? no?): this indeed a serious post with absolutely no pun intended and no sarcasm (my last post on Fashionista Mummies got speculated a lot). I am only here to spread good cheer, love and positivity to help you become a trending HASH…..TAG!

Marry the right name



Lets start with the Hashtag itself. Do you have a partner whose name is worthy? Its not essential but some hashtags don’t sound right, so its better if you are marrying someone whose syllables joined with yours will make you trend easier. Stay away from mono syllables, they aren’t TOO be trusted.

Invite the right people


If you don’t have a few popular friends, with some serious social media following, don’t dream the big dreams. It also means you aren’t rich, stop reading right here.

If you have the right friends (throw in some PR peeps, bloggers) then your # will be trending from the day you say yes!

Or else just invite people from media that you personally don’t know and pay them to cover the wedding!

P.S. If you know Fawad or Mahira, you don’t need your friends!

Is your wedding line up impressive


Forget about the Nikkah, or who will recite your most important nuptials, who cares about all that, but are you throwing a shower? Or is there a brunch? Some great new ideas could come in handy:

Bachelorette/Bachelor Party: After Disney (ref #Munush) maybe there could be a Vegas theme (remember you need the haters as much as fans to be a successful hashtag)

Moo Dikhayee:  No one has thought of this before, but romance sells, why not immortalize the first few moments of your private life together and show off how many karats you got for moo dikhayee!

Post wedding nashta: This could be a themed event morning after rukhsati. I suggest a desi carnival (aka Mela) theme. Ooooo we can all wear lehnga choli again yayyy!

A Destination somewhere in the mix?

Nothing screams your hashtag louder than a destination. No matter what the budget, whether its Sri Lanka, Thailand, Bali or Florence, a destination wedding guarantees you social media engagement and interest from all publications (you might even get a feature in a weekly!) However, people may guess daddy’s bank balance from where you choose to say ‘I do’. So keep it premium, likes of Thailand and Turkey are so 2016.

A list designer line up


Beg, Borrow (ref #Urhaan) or Steal, clothes is what its allll about. And not just yours, your entire guest list should have either the money or the contacts for a killer 10 day wardrobe.

No one wants to see a # with drab or simple clothes. If you have oodles of hard earned legit money don’t settle for the local designers. And if everyone isn’t looking the same as each other, and at least 20 women are not dressed in a lehnga choli, your # could stop trending.

Stellar Event Manager


I mean come on, how can you not have a backdrop that will make it hard to understand where the flowers end and where the brides jora begins. Devil is in the detail and frankly no one wants to see a simple set up. Nothing about your wedding can be simple! You CAN’T SETTLE FOR SIMPLE

Mehndi Dances


Yes, those videos make a difference. Don’t even bother with cousins who cant shake a leg, they are not important, its all about Bollywood perfection. These videos will make that # trend like nothing else. Better yet hire a choreographer who will also do an item number (Oh that will be Totes Adorbsssss)

Some Rukhsati Shenanigans


No one has done that yet, and even if you are a bride who has had 2 month long dance practices, 10 dholkis, a qawali night, a sangeet night, a mayun, mehndi, themed lunch, brunch, shower, wedding, you are still a traditional little girl at heart and its fashionable to shed those tears (even if it is out of exhaustion), but not too many, we don’t want bags under those eyes because the Valima is still to come.

This is the MOST important event of your life. Your previous or subsequent life is defined by how your wedding is. Remember, not A career defining moments, nor the birth of your children, or a promotion, especially a moment of kindness, not even your marriage itself is as important as your WEDDING. God Speed, you hashtag you!!

Written by Amna Niazi
Managing Editor, SiddySays.