Being a mother the second time around can bring a lot of anxiety, especially when you have an older sibling in the house.
The fun and excitement makes you nervous, but at the same time you also worry about the older one and don’t want them to make him/her feel neglected, feel guilty about not giving them enough time, and think of ways to make them understand the demands of a new born in the house.
As a mother you want to see your children bond and strengthen their relationship, instead of conflicts, moods, attention seeking habits, and worse, rivalry between your babies.
So, we took some advice from our mommy friends and asked them for pro tips on a smooth transition in the family how to welcome a new member in the family. Aww!
PREPARE THEM BY TALKING TO THEM
Let your elder kid know that there is a baby on way. Show them how they also used to be this small and needed a lot of care and attention from you and the family. And tell them that they can be friends with the newcomer and things will be way more fun than now. It’s best to involve the elder child whilst shopping for the new one, setting up the crib, discussing color palettes et al. The idea of participation will make them feel appreciated and responsible.
MAKE THE FIRST MEETUP SPECIAL
When your child is coming to visit their sibling for the first time, try to make the moment special. Dress them up, and keep a gift-ready from the baby for the elder one. Beginning things on a positive note is a great way to keep it less shaky afterwards. Also, remember to keep your arms free when he visits as he needs to see
LET THEM HAVE A ROLE TO MAKE THEM FEEL RESPONSIBLE
Once you start living with a newborn and are at home make elder ones do some little stuff around for baby or you. The sense of entitlement and something to do will keep them occupied. Small things like handing you over a diaper or showing a toy to the baby will go long way and your elder one will not feel left out while you are busy caring for the baby.
ARRANGE ALONE TIME AND SELL IT WELL
While it may seem impossible making it a priority can do wonders. While your infant sleeps or is taken care of go and see your child with things and activities you both enjoyed before the baby. This will reassure them you are still the same and life is not all about the newcomer. Spending time with your kid without baby should be all about him and you with no mention of worries about baby. Keeping your elder one center of your attention will help you nip sibling rivalry to some extent. You can do this safely as your new baby is too young yet to notice any difference in attention from you but your older child is the most sensitive and disturbed one for now.
CHOOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY
You’re first born will want to continue doing the same activities they used to do with you before the new born arrived, however since you are too busy, you don’t have time or can’t get involved, but don’t put it on your baby. For eg. don’t say that “I cant play with you because ABC is sleeping”, or “Let’s go out later because ABC is too little” etc. Don’t put everything on the new baby, he/she will soon be seen as a problem for your older one.