We looked into couple advice that relationship therapists have given in 2022, which by the way make sense no matter the day, date or year.
We all want our relationship to thrive, while some of us are willing to work on them, others don’t. What we do need to understand is that all relationships go through ups and down, seasons of love and change, but how you do with it and the people in it, matters the most.
So, we’re sharing the 7 common, but the best couple advice relationship therapists have given.
PASSIONATE LOVE WILL FADE AND THAT’S TOTALLY OKAY!
Passionate love has a timeline, it doesn’t last for about more than 8 months and then it starts to fade away. What we face as an issue is when passionate love starts to dissipate, we think our relationship has come to an end and we’re doomed. Then thoughts like “I don’t love him/her anymore.”
Passionate love gives way to companion love – the one that is natural and makes you feel and allows you to be present in the moment where we feel happy and content with the person who will always be there for you.
Now, isn’t that the kind of love you want? A love with a partner that you can rely on.
YOUR “INTENTION” WILL MAKE OR BREAK YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Your intention is what truly matters because that’s when you decide the fate of your relationship, whether it’s to end it or improve upon it.
GIVE YOUR PARTNER THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
I don’t think either one of us wants to deliberately irritate their partner and most of the times arguments that we do have are mindless. Giving your partner the benefit of the doubt allows both parties to create an environment where they have a helpful conversation instead of a defensive argument.
BE ALRIGHT WITH BEING UNCOMFORTABLE IN ANY SITUATION
Having or building the will to be in touch with your deeper self allows you to look at things from a different perspective where you see solutions because you’re no longer protecting yourself from your pain. You are no longer designing your life around keeping a lid on discomfort. Options can now occur to you.
This begins the process of disentangling the present from the past. Your partner’s ears open when they hear you speak from that place of vulnerability. Both of you can come to understand how your histories are influencing the present. You and your partner can work together to solve whatever is troubling you. The cutting edge of change is always discomfort—a journey well worth the vulnerability you will encounter along the way.
BEING OVERLY HOPEFUL CAN CLOUD YOUR JUDGEMENT
When it comes to interpersonal relationships, hope is often masquerading in the form of repeated attachment patterns. For instance, you might have experienced narcissistic abuse as a child or had an unavailable caretaker, and so hoping someone will change and finally give us the love we want feels familiar and attractive. The feeling of longing or deprivation might also feel familiar, and so we hope that if we are good enough, talented enough, thin enough, smart enough, and attractive enough that finally we will get the attention we are so craving from this person.
So, what happens is that, without even realizing it, you are intoxicated by the fantasy of who you hope this person might become. But every time you are in the movie of projection, you have left the ground of your reality.
IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE, FOCUS ON BEING “WHOLE”
Build your life first before settling down to attach yourself with someone else. Solidify yourself and certain areas of your life. They say that it takes a village to sustain a relationship, so if you don’t have your own infrastructure of your own friends, your own hobbies, your own wellness practices, and your own mental hygiene in place before you enter a relationship, the likelihood that relationship will be functional or sustainable is pretty low.
SHARED LAUGHTER CAN BE FULFILLING TO ANY RELATIONSHIP
Awareness is the first step towards change, so the mere understanding of the importance of shared laughter can become an invitation to joke around more, the permission we need to allow ourselves to have more fun.
While shared laughter between partners can be a sign of an already existing intimacy and connection, what many couples underappreciate is our capacity to actually awaken and grow a sense of humor together even when this has not been a strong suit in the relationship.