In a journey towards self-discovery and healing, forgiveness is one of the most difficult challenges to overcome even though it hampers our growth whether we like it or not. When we’ve experienced hurt from someone, we’re afraid to open ourselves up to the repercussions of that pain and some even take it as a sign of weakness. I’ve had my fair share of trauma and have faced my feelings directly, it’s not easy but it’s liberating in a way (for yourself).

We’ve all been hurt by people at some point in our lives, from friends, family members and even romantic partners, but instead of freeing ourselves from that trauma, we are holding ourselves back from creative positive relationships in our lives, which is why forgiveness plays a significant role. By forgiving someone, we are healing ourselves by accepting what transpired so we can attract the good energy.

So regardless of the fact that who hurt us, forgiveness is like getting closure, finishing unfinished business and regain our balance.


Step 1: Be willing to forgive

Before you  forgive give someone, it’s extremely important to understand how motivated you are to take that step. Are you ready to move from the phase or place that you are in no matter where the feeling stems from; anger or stubbornness or just the fact that that person or crime is unforgivable? It takes a lot of courage, so you have to be honest with yourself before you take the decision to forgive anyone.

Step 2: Reconnect on a positive note

Once you’ve forgiven someone, you’ve decided to move on, so you need to take a step back to reboot and reconnect with that person on a positive note to take things forward in life. This can’t be the case of pretending to forgive and continuing to wallow in that bubble of regret. Reconnect on a positive and sincere note and let go of that anger and resentment that you’ve harbored. You can however set boundaries for yourself in this process.

Sep 3: See yourself in the future if/when you’ve forgiven them

The human heart aches for love and connection, and we aren’t made of stone. So, if you find it in your body and soul that safe and warm feeling of patching things up for the good so you can move on, imagine how things could and should be like and work for it sincerely. It takes two to tango so if you’re willing to take the step towards forgiveness, let your feelings be known and then take it from there (depending on their response).

Step 4: Prepare yourself for it to happen again

When you forgive someone who has caused you a great deal of pain, mental or emotional, the decision to forgive them is a risk because this risk does not come with a guarantee that it wont happen again. Even though I would personally like to think that it wont, but my experience has taught me otherwise. Forgiveness requires hard work and dedication, it’s a commitment to strive ahead, so things might go tospy turvy, but if you’re honest with each other and communicate your expectations, then the road can be a little less bumpy.

Step 5: Confront your feelings

Confronting your feelings when you’re hurt is the bases of forgiveness and let’s think of it this way, you’re not forgiving the other person, but you’re forgiving yourself for straining your heart and mind over pain caused by someone else. So face your emotions and find the place of forgiveness in your own awareness by accepting what has happened.


Written by Faryal Syed
Asst Editor. Blogger. Enthusiast.