To all the single ladies, I have some marriage advice for you. Before you let someone seal it with a ring and and sign the nikkah nama, I want to channel my desi sister and tell you somethings that probably someone should have told me when I was tying the knot.
When I see so many girls getting married or just thinking on the prospect of having a husband and her home, it excites me, sure but I also want you to know that, don’t let the idea of a dream wedding and the excitement cloud your decision of getting married and pay heed to the marriage advice that my inner desi soul wants to share with you and your friends and their friends.
There are so many things I could tell you, but for now, here are 5 things that every girl should know before she happily says yes!
MARRIAGE ADVICE: 5 THINGS EVERY GIRL SHOULD KNOW
Neither is marriage a solo show, nor is it a competition. Marriage is like team work where two people come together with all their positives and negatives, ideas, thoughts and opinion with one common goal, i.e is to achieve marital bliss. To enforce your individuality on each other and expect one of the parties to run the marathon is a path of a single person.
Before getting married, it’s very important to figure out what you want out of it, so take time to reflect on your thought process and how you feel about this step. Because half of your relationship will depend on how much you can tolerate, the amount of pressure you can take and what are you willing to give to make everything work.
One of the biggest mistakes that most of us make in a marriage is when we want to change the other person and mould them into our idea of “perfect” whether they are physical or psychological changes. What we should do instead is accept our partner for exactly who they are and work with and around them to improve each other, together.
Mutual respect means regarding someone for their values, qualities, skills, accepting their way of doing things and just letting them be their own person in their personal and professional lives. Simply calling your partner “AP” or their parents “Ammi/Abbu” or being nice to their family is not synonymous to mutual respect. Respecting a “human being” means that you embrace them whole-heartedly as well their emotional and psychological boundaries, while never losing sight of what you want out of this relationship.
It’s really important for you to know the person whom you’re getting married to whether it’s a love or arranged marriage. Communicate with them through calls, messages or meetings, and don’t base your final decision over a few dinners. More importantly, take your time before rushing into tying the knot. Who are they? What do they like? Where do they see you two together in the next 5 years? Observe their behavior, body language and the way they address others. So communicate consistently and don’t be afraid to ask any questions.