If your partner is more interested in HIS feelings, HIS work, HIS pleasures, HIS life instead of listening to you or take interest in your life, then you’re married to a narcissist husband. This unhealthy disregard of your feelings, unable to take criticism for their actions, cooking up half lies and put themselves on a high pedestal are some of the traits of a narcissist.
But, hey, how do I know that I’m married to a narcissist husband? Aren’t these generalized traits to all of us humans?
Well, honestly, the challenges that one faces if they’re in a relationship with a narcissist are fairly unique. They might say they love you, but at the end of they, they love themselves more. In fact, they love the idealized version of themselves in front of others so that they don’t come off as wounded and disrupted in their lives and naturally they don’t admit it. From aggression to manipulation, gas-lighting and isolation are some of their common behavioral patterns that we’ve managed to learn and pick up from social media.
I’m not a therapist, but I’ve seen a friend dealing with a narcissist husband and it’s a life long dead end relationship. While we may not realise the triggers and warnings, but being married to a narcissist can be very heart-breaking.
EVERYDAY IS A STRUGGLE
Because of their chronic mood swings and reactions everyday may become like a struggle. Even small talk doesn’t seem normal.
THEY MAKE YOU FEEL TRAPPED
You feel like you’re stuck on a road that leads towards a dead end and everything that they do just shocks you because you’re never on the same tangent on anything.
YOU QUESTION YOUR RELATIONSHIP EVERY DAY
You ask yourself why you’re with them. While for some it’s love, they have kids or just emotional human addiction, and for others its other harsh truths of life that you can’t evade from, but you have this question on your mind everyday.
YOU REGRET BEING WITH THEM
Being with a narcissist husband is like a long life with regrets and the biggest regret is simply being with them.
THEY MAKE YOU FEEL -VE
Because of their self absorbed personality, they emanate negative vibes. They are only positive for their needs and whatever fulfills their ego.
THEY EFFECT THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE
Anything you do, feel or hope for, doesn’t sit well with a narcissist. They will question, mock or hold you for it simply because it didn’t involve them.
YOU FEEL LONELY AROUND THEM
Feeling alone and worse, lonely when you’re in a relationship with someone can be devastating. But that’s how he will make you feel.
YOU FORGET EVER BEING “IN LOVE”
The relationship and anxieties can be so exhausting, you forget ever being in love. Love, who dat?
THEY MAKE YOU BITTER
Bitterness, resentment, anger, disappointment, sadness – you feel everything if you’re married to a narcissist husband.
NOTHING WILL EVER BE NORMAL
Unfortunately narcissism is chronic and there is no cure or change, unless someone’s willing to work it out, which people rarely do. Therapy is a big no-no for narcissistic people. So whatever you decide for yourself will sketch the course of your life.
If you want to read more on relationships, learn about the 6 common compromises all women do.
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How can she handle this kinda person?
After reading this artical I didn’t know I am bearing this since 8 years… As far as point 7 8 is concerned, not true in my case but the rest are 100 %correct.
But the question still there how to deal with this?
Is Sepereration the only solution for every mentle problem b/w husband and wife. As you wrote its chronic and has no cure and change?????!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Sumbal. I feel for you however I’m not a therapist if you’re looking for clinical help, but on a human level I feel there are always ways to deal with situations and people. Ways like open communication, understanding the other person, setting boundaries for yourself as to what is acceptable or not, and not giving into their attention seeking behaviour and staying positive. You’ve been with your partner for almost a decade now which means that you are in it for the long haul, so you’ve accepted him the way he is. Now you have to make this time easier for yourself as well (besides helping him grow out of his narcissistic patterns).
And one more thing that I do always stress on is that, don’t ever blame yourself for someone else’s doing. You’re not responsible for how others choose to behave, so don’t live on any unnecessary guilt and depression. And talk to someone, like therapy. It will help in so many ways provided you are open to it.
No solution works out with a narcissist. I had to take a decision to get divorced because narcissists never decide to leave you. For them you are a package deal who can daily listen to their rants and abuse. They need someone whom they can let down and mock in order to feel bigger and better. They have created a false self image which is very mighty and they believe that is real and to keep that image intact, they keep on degrading you.
But believe me when I say there is no cure because I consulted a psychologist and he recommended immediate divorce if I want my sanity intact.
Hi Syra. Thank you for sharing your personal experience and I’m sorry for the situation you’ve been through. Such is life, some people decide to stay for various reasons whilst some like you are bold enough to save themselves. I hope you’re in a good place now!