Picking up after a divorce? Hmm..
Marriages end, sometimes on a good note where both the partners understand they are not suitable together and then there are other scenarios where people hardly save their lives escaping from toxic relations. No matter how it surfaces, divorce turns lives upside down.
Did you know it takes 2 years to feel some sense of semblance in your life after divorce? Ughhh!
There is healing, tears, hope, freedom, and fear. With such a wide array of emotions, an individual can feel overwhelmed. You can be heartbroken, you can be relieved or it can be a tough mix to sort.
To aid anyone going through this phase here are some key points to consider when rebuilding your life.
IT’S A-OKAY TO GRIEVE
No matter who decided to take the first step in ending the marriage, the lingering feeling of loss is just like death. It’s the death of your marriage, a life that you committed yourself to in good and bad times, but hey, it ended. So instead of falling into societal pressures as we do, instead of jumping into a new relationship, or are forced to get into one because “shaadi saves you from barbaadi” mourn the loss and let the feeling sink in. You went through a lot and it’s rightful to say that you’d want closure.
SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP (IF NEED BE)
Divorce is literally a process and sometimes these steps are too hard to follow because you don’t know how to kick-start your life. So, don’t be afraid to speak to someone about how to get back on track. That someone could be a therapist OR even a friend who’s bed you can snuggle in.
TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR FINANCES
Whether you had been depending solely on your partner for finances or you paid the bills, you’ring e in charge now. And whether you went back home to your parents, or have family members to lean on to, it’s only just to say that you will have to eventually do something that will be your saving grace. And that is taking control of your financial situation. Also, if you don’t know where to start, GOOGLE and look for personal finance management solutions. We’re in the tech age and everything’s online waiting for you, and get a job.
SELF-LOVE: YOUR’E NOT UN-WANTED
You’ll feel terrible about yourself and it will feel like the end of the world, and it is because it was the death of a lifestyle that you lived, so feelings of being unwanted, unworthy and disliked are going to be heightened. So how do you deal with this? HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF AND THE ALMIGHTY, don’t let negativity pull you done and believe that YOU ARE WORTH IT.
FIND YOURSELF WITHIN YOUR NEWLY FOUND STATUS
We all give in to a part of ourselves to relations. Loosing or masking some of your traits, abilities, and talents is normal when in a long-term relationship and during family life. You can this time to rework on these things. Get to know what are your strengths, talents, and special gifts by going back to school, and maybe start doing things that you loved doing.
WELCOME THE NEW CHANGE
You might feel stranded in that pool of married friends at once, so how about making some new single friends? You’re in a social pool, make new memories. Welcome the new change because CHANGE IS ALWAYS GOOD!
MAKE A BUCKET LIST
A 1000x times yes to this. You’re out of the marriage so what do you want to do? MAKE A LIST. New friends, a new career, a destination you want to visit etc… replenish your mind, body and soul and let the magic of healing begin. And maybe watch #TheBucketList for inspo.
Amazing post, its not a place you ever thought you would be but if, this has happened, acceptance is the key. I have seen people considering themselves failure after divorce its totally wrong because self love can save you and surely leads to happiness.
Thank you for your feedback, Maira. Unfortunately, not a lot of people want to talk about life-after-divorce for the sake of the person who goes through it, no matter what the situation have been. Acceptance of what has happened is is actually the first towards “healing”.