Amma, Ammi, Mama. However you go about it you better pull up your socks because boy, are you in for a ride, which is why here is our guide for new mommies.IDE FOR NEW MOMMIES
Becoming a parent means having your world change a lot (if you aren’t one to completely depend on help). Incidentally, it also means it turns out sunny side up. You will never be more exhausted but you will also never be filled with such joy. You can be the toughest of girls but your little baby, will make his or her space in your heart faster than you realize. You may fear you don’t have the motherly instinct, but well as they say, a mother is born when a child is born. Here are a few things I’ve learnt being a new mommy that might come in handy!
It’s natural to be competitive for some people, but you will drive yourself insane comparing head circumference, length, ounces, pounds, formula intake, number of dirty diapers a day, hours of sleep clocked in, if you start comparing your baby with the age mates. Accept this: Children grow differently, both inside and outside the womb. Some children are genetically predisposed to being chubby, while others are small. It’s okay! Relax.
Milestones are not set in stone
Quit freaking out if your eleven month old is still completely toothless. Cutting a tooth does not mean they have developed a new bone, the teeth are right there under the gum, it WILL come out. Sit tight and in the meantime enjoy that absolutely adorable gummy bear.
(PS: its normal for a baby to not cut his first tooth till eighteen months).
Some children will walk, talk and sit up later. It does not reflect on the intelligence and acumen they will have as adults.
Ignore ridiculous superstitions
The wonderful thing about our country and culture is that more often than not you will have an array of khalas and chachis giving you helpful advice, listen to them. Don’t jump the gun on calling bullshit but use your head! Putting a metal lock under a newborn’s bedding will not help ward off anything. I mean, WHAT?
Once you become a mother these gems will be thrown your way regularly. A lady once told me that my six month old still had the gap in his skull because he was sleeping in the dark and was afraid.
Hire some help
Leaving your newborn wholly and solely to the help doesn’t work for me, but everyone needs help. Get someone to sit near the baby and keep a watchful eye whilst you take the (much needed) bath or a shut eye. Letting the maid to some chores for the baby WONT make you a bad mom and don’t listen to women who Boast that they don’t have help (they all do).
Yes, they are as delicate as they look
People telling you that kids are tougher than they look are wrong, don’t listen. NEVER shake a baby. Having and caring for a baby is non-stop and tiring. You are allowed to have a meltdown. Ask for help, if help is unavailable, put your baby in a safe place, like a cot or playpen, and cry it out.
Give the father responsibility
Men will fall in whatever pattern you decide fairly quickly, so if you try to be the sole command of the baby it will be damn near impossible to break that cycle. Trust your husband to take care of the baby on his own, even away from your watchful gaze. He can handle it!
Find time for yourself
Wake up an hour before the baby. Read a book, take a bath, enjoy a piping hot cup of tea (as the months roll drinking your tea while it’s still hot will become rarer and rarer). Try to retain some semblance of your own identity. It will go a long way in being patient when the little ones are driving you crazy.
Babies will get hurt more often than not
It’s the truth, you can be a complete helicopter mother but every once in a while your kid will get injured, try not to take it personally! It’s not a reflection on you as a parent, sometimes kids just get hurt, particularly those learning to walk. Make sure they are fine and dont need medical attention, soothe them, shrug it off and get on with your day!
Instead of telling a cruising baby NO every five seconds, try to clear the room up a bit. Tape off sockets, remove makeup and decorations etc. The best thing you can do for your kid is let him or her explore and discover. Coincidentally, it’s also the best thing you can do for your poor aching back. Put them down!
Develop good eating habits early on
Once you begin to wean your baby off from milk make sure you introduce healthy foods. Even if they reject it the first time keep trying! This is the only time you can actually take complete hold of their nutrition. Make sure you introduce them to an array of tastes and textures. Picky eaters are a lifelong challenge!
Don’t spend too much on toys
Recently, a friend of mine made a funny comment and said I don’t know why I spend money on toys I should just take them to a “kabbaarkhana.” That’s how kids roll. You can buy them every toy under the sun but they will prefer poking your nose or banging some spoon in a plate or bowl.
Trust your gut!
Heard of a woman’s intuition? Well it multiplies once you have a little one. No one knows your baby like you do. Trust yourself. It’s a learning process. Forgive yourself for mistakes you make and try again. Remember, these long sleepless nights and early morning bug eyes are not forever. This time will pass sooner than you think. Try to enjoy the journey. Keep reminding yourself you will never be this loved or this needed again…at least not until the next one!
Contributed by: Tanya Imran , is a full time mother to two adorable kids and a part time blogger.